Creatiffly Crazy ... an adventure with Dezy

Yes We Will.

2011-05-01T09:35:00.000-07:00

Yes We Will. $1,799,400.

If you want the truth about anything ask a comedian. It is the job of comics to point out the patently obvious – thus completely surprising us every time.

A bright young talent I saw last week quipped, “To be fair to the president in his campaign he only said ‘Yes We Can’. He hasn’t broken any promises. He never said ‘Yes We Will’.”

But I’m saying, ‘Yes We Will!’ Oh don’t fret - I will not be running in 2012. (I actually really definitely was not born in the USA and in any case I still have great faith in the present leader).

I’m saying ‘Yes We Will’ about something that is up to me. $1,799, 400

$1,799,400 is the difference between what happens this week - 40 fans paying $15 each to see me in one house concert and what will happen the same week next year - 40,000 fans paying $45 each to see me. $1,799,400 is the difference.

“So we are going to try to achieve that, Dezy?”

Try? Have you ever tried to quit smoking? Can’t be done. But you decide Yes I Will and despite the perceived difficulties around the challenge it is done!

And you English professors out there, Yes We Will is not just bad grammar for Yes We Shall as in ‘Shall We Dance?’ Yes We Shall would merely be an attempt to foretell the future.

Yes We Will is a statement of pure intent. $1,799,400.

Next week I’ll tell you how we begin.

Click here if you think Dezy is crazy?

Click here if you can’t see it happening!

Click here if you like it so far.

Tell me the first thing that came into your head - I'd love to hear it. dezy@dezywalls.com

The cuckoo has landed

2011-04-15T15:41:00.000-07:00

The cuckoo has landed. As you know a cuckoo is a bird who sings a lovely song and spends much of his time in other people’s nests.

The good news is this particular cuckoo has found his own nest!

Clare and I have shared many of your homes. All are now cordially invited to share ours anytime you feel like visiting Carlton in beautiful rural Oregon an hour from Portland.

A question! Besides us, do you know anyone else nesting within five hundred miles of Portland? Good! Because I want to entertain them! So please endorse me like you’ve never endorsed in your life before and introduce us to each other by e-mail.

Then in late May or early June listen carefully for the ‘cuckoo, cuckoo’ sound coming from afar. It will be me saying thank you again my friends.

The cuckoo comes in April

He sings his song in May

He changes his tune in the month of June

In July he flies away

The above verse applies to the cuckoo’s habits in Ireland. I must admit that when he flies away from there I don’t know where the f**k he goes to.

If you ever go across the sea to Ireland ... now is a good time

2011-04-15T15:29:00.000-07:00

If you ever go across the sea to Ireland ... now is a good time.

This year.

We've a new government. New hope. The happy smiles are wider than ever. After a rainy snowy winter we're ready for a luscious green summer and autumn (fall).

So here's the plan. Go with Dezy and Clare in August or September. You can come singly, bring a partner, bring a group - any of the above you'll be one of our gang from the minute you land.

What age should you be? I don't know. Seventeen to one hundred and seventeen - we're an eclectic band of happy travellers.

Here's a guide. Dezy is a young 62 and Clare's a good bit younger still - while last year's group boasted a variety of birth dates and birth places.

Why with Dezy and Clare? Well Dezy makes sure life is funny (fun) while Clare is the world's best organizer - so nothing can go wrong...and if it does we'll laugh so much you'll be glad it did.

Why you? Because you want to be touched to your very soul by the most beautiful places on earth. And this we guarantee. Plus music and laughter and camaraderie.

Would it be crazy to pick up the phone this very minute and call Dezy or Clare just to find out more? Of course not. We'd love to talk to you and answer any questions you have about the trip or Ireland itself. [239-398-3024 / 239-404-9944]

If email is your style, that's great too.

Why this year?

Because in this limited life it's a good idea to do the best things first.

All other news coming soon, like Dezy's new self-produced album and our imminent arrival in our new home town of Portland, OR.

Click on this link for Dezy's Ireland Tour Information

....and for even more info visit Dezy's Ireland Blogspot

Life is Funny

2011-01-28T11:13:00.000-08:00

Can you tell me which is the longest possible route from Naples FL to Portland OR .... and is your house on the way ? Clare and I thought while crossing to our new home base why not do some shows, have some fun evenings. Reply with a quick few words if you'd like to see us at your home or elsewhere near you in March/April. We'll probably zigzag north and then zag-zig west. It's a blank page right now.

Clare has your Ireland trip with us organized for August / September. Check out Dezy's Ireland Tour - 2011 here and let us hear from you as early as possible as the groups are small and the enthusiasm is great. Only 36 seats available in total & some reservations in place already.

My brother Paddy, who would have been 50 on Feb 1st, always said that if my songs were as imaginatively produced as they are written I would have big hits on my hands. So with his spirit in mind I am self-producing my new album "Life is Funny". That's what's been keeping me quiet these last couple of months and will a while more.

Talk soon

Here's to many more

2011-01-28T11:04:00.000-08:00

Thank you. Twenty-Ten has been a great year. You organised so we could travel the USA and Ireland and visit the UK and Holland. You came to the gigs. You laughed, you sang, you organised the gigs, you spread the word. You fed us and put us up. Some of you whom we didn't see kept in touch from afar. Many more we'll see next year.

This year some of you lost close ones, as did I. Some of you welcomed new family to the world as did I. Life goes on. For Clare and me, it went on beautifully with great adventure in Twenty-Ten. Thanks to you, our friends.

View a snapshot of Dezy's Fall Tour

Check out the Highlights of the Ireland Sightseeing Tour

Creatiffly Crazy No. 21

2010-08-03T11:08:00.000-07:00

It’s the height of the summer season (in the Northern hemisphere at least) and I have a very exciting project to which I must give my 100% attention so I’m giving you guys a break from these weekly bulletins for a month.

When I come back it will be travel time again and we will take you with us to The Netherlands, Ireland and across the USA and back.

For those who regularly read The Show, click here for Chapter 7. If you need to catch up, just click here for full story to date. Clare and I wish you all a wonderful sunny August.

Chapter 6: Anyone can write a script

2010-07-26T20:47:00.000-07:00

This week the entire newsletter is chapter 6 of The Show. It’s a short chapter so even the busy among you can flip through it. (Those who want the full story to date click here)

Chapter 6: Anyone can write a script.
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. Mark Twain

“Can you hold this for me a minute?”

“What is it?”

“It’s the script of The Show.”

“Why are you giving it to me?”

“Sure amn’t I giving it to everybody!” I tell him paraphrasing an old joke.

I had to bring the script over to Gerry’s place because he ‘hasn’t had a chance to set up e-mail since moving house three months ago’.

“Now, Dezy,” says our new director, “before even reading this I can tell you, you have to rewrite it.”

“Yes, of course, I can see room for improvement.”

“Problem is,” he barrels on ignoring my comment, “There’s only one character in the show. That’s Peter’s character and although you play the piano and act as his foil it lacks the energy I see between you two guys off stage. Why?”

I open my mouth to answer but he continues, “Because your character is undeveloped. Peter’s character is bouncing off nothing and nobody. Write your own story into it. That should be the easiest thing in the world. Then you’ll see fireworks like you two create in real life. Where’s the point in having all the drama backstage. Put it on stage where the audience can see it. I’ll read this anyway,” he shakes the old script at me like yesterdays newspaper, “but you go and write it again. When did you say we’re putting this in a real theatre; three month’s time? It’s gonna be a close call. I have to block the play, fix the script, get rid of the songs that don’t fit and train ye to act. It’ll be a close call all right. Go home and get started.”

Anyone can write a script. I’ve done it a hundred times. Most of them are under the bed or in an old box in the attic but I wrote them. The first script I ever wrote was about a band I loved. I had played a big part in the life of this band. I had pushed them forward. I had held them back. I was their manager.

The story was a tragedy. A collection of superb talents ripped apart by disagreements over rehearsal times and the true meaning of a G minor suspended fourth. Six years after the band disintegrated I was still dealing with the loss. Writing that first script was my therapy. I showed it to my mother.

Ma said the piece had too many characters. But that was not what discouraged me. It was what else she said. Namely nothing! ‘Too many characters’ was the entire critique.

When, after ten years I plucked up the courage to again expose a script to the scrutiny of someone else whose views could sting, Tony observed that my musical, The Motivation Room lacked characters. Not character, it had plenty of character; in fact it had characters with character. What it lacked were characters without character.

“Where,” my friend asked, “are the bad guys?”

He suggested I create a villain who would build ruthless apartment blocks next to the kids playground, right up against the swings so that the six year old could merrily swing back but when she would swing forward she would smash her little face against a concrete wall. Lacking anything better I fooled around with that idea for a while. Pity me, please!

I got away from purposely writing scripts for a while.

I took my frustrations out on pianos. I would hit a C minor chord saying ‘take that you black and white bastard; how dare you fuck up my life by leading me away from a comfortable job at the bank’. I had never been offered a job at a bank but you know what I mean.

I was eventually offered a job banging pianos. That’s fair.

What a ‘live’ audience will teach you is that stories are gold and you’d better use your words well or they’ll eat you alive.

“Hey Dezy, do you know ‘Peaceful Easy Feeling’ by the Eagles?”

“No but you sing it and I’ll accompany you.” and I’d continue, “That’s very nice. You sing it beautifully. Can you write out the lyrics for me? Thank you.”

I went from knowing seventeen songs to a thousand and seventeen very quickly using the above tactic. And in my spare time I was writing my own songs.

There are two types of performers who do their own material.

Firstly there is the singer-songwriter who says, ‘I’ve suffered for my art, now it’s your turn’.

The other kind is an entertainer. Some think the only entertainers are ‘crowd pleasers’ covering Neil Diamond sing-alongs and telling slightly suggestive jokes. Maybe that’s the only sort of act an agent can sell.

“He’s a Neil Diamond tribute band.” The agent says.

“Oh, I like Neil Diamond, we’ll have that.” Says the office assistant who’s been delegated to book music for the Christmas party.

Agents cannot describe what I do. And to be fair, neither can I. All I can tell you is I am a writer/performer and my songs had better make ‘em laugh and cry every night or they don’t make next weeks team sheet. And as a performer it was not just the songs but the stories and interaction around them. I had to learn quickly what to say to hecklers, how to grab the attention of a sleepy crowd or hold a visitor all night who’d only intended to stay a minute. The latter were my favourites.

“We’d planned to meet our friends in The Blue Haven but instead we got them to come here and we’re all glad we did. You made our night.”

“And you mine!”

So when I went to write The Show, ‘Not the Life I Ordered’ I had a feel for words beyond what sitting in a den, pen in hand, gives you.

Gerry was surprised when I came back with the rewrite after only five days. I can be stubborn and obsessive when I want something done. He was even more surprised that it was ‘pretty good stuff’ as he put it.

Rehearsals began on the deck at the back of Gerry’s house. From what we could tell the neighbours liked it. At least they never sent for the police.

Peter was happy. When he’d say, ‘I can’t say that. Simon would never say that,’ instead of me hopping on him with, ‘Of course you could say it. Open your mouth, move your jaw and wiggle your tongue around and you’ll hear the words coming out,’ he’d have Gerry asking, ‘what do you think Simon would say, Peter?’

And Peter and I started fighting less off stage. We were doing that on stage instead and hopefully one day someone would pay us for it. When we practiced in my house, my son Ronan, who shared a rental with me at the time, couldn’t tell most of the time if we were acting or it was real. Hey, that’s not bad for beginners.

To be continued

The Heart of a Lion

2010-07-20T06:33:00.000-07:00

Don’t you sometimes feel like a little scared mouse in a big bad world? I know I do.

When I think of my show, ‘Not the Life I Ordered’ and how good I know it is but how difficult it seems to be to get it where it belongs, I feel like a little scared mouse in a big bad world. And yet, deep down I know us scared little mice have the hearts of lions.

They said he’d crack up. You can’t be an unknown guy with an unpronounceable name leading the greatest golf tournament in the world and stay calm. He will panic and lose a shot or two and then the realisation of who he is will sink in and he’ll collapse. It’s not like he’s Tiger. Yeah! He says Tiger is his hero for the calm way Tiger keeps going under pressure. But being inspired by Tiger and being like Tiger are two different things. This boy will crack up sometime on Saturday or Sunday. Friday morning is much too early to lead the Open when you are nobody.

But he didn’t crack up and as he walked up the eighteenth fairway on Sunday afternoon seven shots clear in the greatest golf tournament in the world at St. Andrew’s Old Course (headquarters of golf), I wondered what he’d say at his moment of triumph. Because this would certainly change his life and he’d earned bragging rights.

So, having been presented with the Claret Jug, the holy grail of golf, this white South African farmer’s son walked to the microphone.

As the rainbow coloured flags of his native land waved in the crowd, Louis said, ‘I am so proud that this has come on the ninety-second birthday of Nelson Mandela, that wonderful man.’

He continued to name others who have inspired him like Ernie Els whose foundation had given him his start, his parents who nurtured his talent and his wife who stood there proudly holding their six-month old baby girl. He did not talk about how this would change his life or how tough it had been out there to stay calm and focussed throughout or how great he was to have achieved this victory. He did not speak of himself at all. He simply thanked those who had inspired him and as he did he inspired ten thousand more.

So will it always be that as each scared little mouse finds his or her lion’s heart we show all the other scared little mice what we are really made of.

Louis Oosthuizen won the Open Championship last Sunday and though I was supporting someone else and, to be honest, had hardly heard of the guy before last week, I was very proud of him.

If you know someone with a dream who sometimes feels like a little scared mouse in a big bad world, write to them now and tell them to stay calm and have courage. We have, each one and all of us, the heart of a lion.

Click here to read "A Moment of Triumph" - Chapter 5 of my story about The Show (Not the Life I Ordered) or click here for the full story to date.

Pictures behind the scenes

2010-07-13T14:37:00.000-07:00

Ze Mudder of Dr Winkelstink, the Singing Shrink

So I’m a movie star now. Lights camera action! We shot the first episode of Dr. Winkelstink this week. Below are some pictures from behind the scenes. It’s going to be a lot of fun when it hits the screen (of your computer) in a couple of month’s time.

In the meantime my story The Show continues.

I know not everyone is a big reader but it’s easy to read Chapter 4 - Ma: The Inevitable Influence or catch up on The Full Story So far … all four chapters to date.

And it's "lights, sound rolling, camera rolling, action.... and cut"and then it's "right, let's do that again"

World cup, I was wrong.

Spain

were the best and the best team won. Well done Spain but thanks also to The Netherlands and all the rest who played great football. And let’s send a special thanks to South Africa, the host nation, who made it one to remember. Next time we hope FIFA (the world football organisation) will have done some common sense soul searching as to how to make the game not just fair but ‘seen to be fair’.

The fall tour of the US will not include any of the southern states this time around as time is shorter. We begin in Virginia on October 8th; scoot across to Portland, Oregon and back via Colorado and many other states ending in Maryland before Thanksgiving. Some gigs are fixed and others to be finalised. Hope to see many of you along the way.

Played by Wizards, Administered by Idiots

2010-07-05T13:10:00.000-07:00

Main whinge of the week in a minute but first …

Some of those who are reading my story ‘The Show’ have told me it is better to read a few chapters at once to stay familiar with characters. So click here for The First Three Chapters … or, if you prefer, click here for The Third Chapter on it’s own.

Played by Wizards, Administered by Idiots.

The ‘Soccer’ world cup as they call it here in the US is reaching a climax. I try to explain that ‘soccer’ is short for As‘soc’iation Football but they tell me, “Don’t be ridiculous. Soccer is not a bit like Football.”
Yes, but at the risk of repeating myself, maybe, just maybe, it is called Football because, most of the time, it involves a foot coming into contact with a ball.

The players and the teams have been great. All of them! And I don’t blame the referees for the crazy decisions. It’s those who make the rules and then refuse to take advantage of modern technology to monitor their own rules; they are to blame for the injustices. Those are the idiots who punish everyone else for their own shortcomings.

FIFA the world governing body imply they are responsible for making this the most popular game in the world. The credit for that goes to those who play it in the streets of Rio de Janeiro and a million other places, the schools around the world who encourage it, the professionals who work hard to be great and the supporters who watch the game. So listen to those people. We are not happy with you FIFA.

When unfair incidents happen to Ghana, England and Mexico, I expect FIFA to care about that. Not to endlessly say they can’t do anything to make it fairer without spoiling the game and the old chestnut; this game is bigger than any country.

It’s also, thankfully bigger than the idiots presently running it.

Learn from Tennis; give players limited rights to question decisions.
Learn from Rugby and Gridiron football; give the referees assistance from technology.
Learn from life; develop a culture of compensation for the injured party and focus on disincentives rather than punishment for the guilty.

There was one thing I found worse than FIFA. Some of the imported ‘b’ list commentators imported from England talking trivia about old games, player’s contracts, their personal lives and everything except the game in front of us. Then they complain that there is no atmosphere in the match they are talking over. Next time I’m going to learn Spanish so I can switch channels. This is not an anti-English thing from an Irishman. I support England when Ireland are* out. Now that England are out I’m supporting The Dutch, Holland, The Netherlands, NED, The Orange … All of those words refer to the same little country less than half the size of Pennsylvania. Watch The Netherlands win the world cup. Sing ‘Oranje Boven (pronounced - oran je boe fen)’, which means ‘Up the Orange!’

*We say Ireland are (not Ireland is) when referring to a team. We see it as a collection of people and not a collective noun referring to a unit. Referring to Ireland as a country we would say Ireland is a lovely place to visit. But Ireland (the nation) are happy with the new trade agreement. I found it less confusing to learn Dutch than American because sometimes American is almost the same as English.

Clare says: Feel free to comment below - to let off some steam too & for all of us to share.

You can click here to read The Story of The Show – chapters 1 to 3, if you wish.

The Power of a Tuesday Deadline

2010-06-29T10:26:00.000-07:00

Thank you for being my deadline each Tuesday. It keeps me alert all week. When I feel like taking life easy I think of you eagerly awaiting the next chapter of The Show and I go enthusiastically back to work.

What is The Show, somebody’s asking?

(Many of you enjoyed chapter one last week click here for chapter two to print and read in bed. For chapters one and two click here.)

It’s an adventure story. When you consider that any musical play, having been conceived and carried full term, is born into a world where its chance of survival is about the same as that of an individual egg in a whole season of salmon roe, you will understand how it and its single minded creator, thrown into a sea of buffeting waves and cruel winds, yet determined to reach the shores of theatrical immortality, are heroes of a special kind. You got all that? You’re a hero too.

My mission is to tell the story of man and musical, the lucky breaks, the irritating stumbling blocks, the heartbreak and the miracles.

Thank you for the encouraging responses last week. Keep writing to me. I enjoy the reaction and would welcome critics also. Now go and read the story and tell me what you think.

John Steinbeck said - A man who writes a story is forced to put into it the best of his knowledge and the best of his feeling. The discipline of the written word punishes both stupidity and dishonesty. A writer lives in awe of words for they can be cruel or kind, and they can change their meanings right in front of you.

The Story Begins

2010-06-26T13:04:00.001-07:00

THE SHOW ! By Dezy Walls

Prologue
It is the mark of an artist to create something, which formerly existed only in his or her heart. David Mamet (Playwright and screenwriter)

I do want something from this.
I know I said I don’t care as long as The Show works but I want my sanity, that’s what I want.
Click here for THE STORY

Biggest Story Room in the World - No.14

2010-06-26T12:58:00.000-07:00

You want to hear a story? Well, gather around, bring your friends, I'm the storyteller and we've got comfortable seats for all.

Within this story lies the secret of life so I'm not going to tell it all at one sitting. It will begin next week and finish when it ends, beautifully, as though you were there. Ask fifty of your best friends to join us before next Tuesday. This is the biggest story room in the world and we intend to fill it. If you've received this from a friend, please join our mailing list - top right or bottom.

The Show! by Dezy Walls....begins next Tuesday
"It is the mark of an artist to create something which formerly existed only in his or her heart." David Mamet (playwright and screenwriter)

Our spring US tour was the experience of a lifetime. Thank you all who asked us to do it again in the fall. We accept your invitations. We will tour from early October to mid November 2010.

View the photo album by clicking here: the Spring Tour 2010

Just for the record, can you drop us a quick email officially inviting us to do your concert this fall. The autumn route may not be the same as the spring route above - depends on who invites us.

Exact dates we'll discuss later. Whether you've hosted us before or would like to this time, or just want to know more about it, now's the time. We're getting it all organized and this tour will be shorter with more performances each week. It will mean precise planning well in advance. Thank you again to those we stayed with last time. It's much more like home than hotel rooms. We also appreciate all who invited friends and relatives from afar and put them up.

It doesn't make me feel like a superstar. Superstars don't have that much fun.

We are delighted with the group traveling to Ireland with us in September. It's full of life-loving people who will hit it off famously with each other and the Irish they meet. There are three seats left to be filled so, don't be shy. Jump on the bus. For lots more information on the tour plus a look at Dezy's Ireland Photo Album

There are also still dates open for Irish House Concerts in September.

Keep writing. I love to hear from you. And gather all your friends around the fireside. The story begins next week.